A recent college graduate with a strong dislike for stupidity, Chelsea has decided to shun her BA and live the life of a broke nomad. She enjoys struggling to pay her rent, eating Cheerios and Ramen Noodles, and living off of Coke Zero and Grande Frappuccinos (actually, that's where her rent money goes to.)
She writes lots of stupid, useless nonsense, and fancies that someday, she'll be like Chelsea Handler, only funny. Perhaps a straight, female, 20-something version of David Sedaris. She is not religious and is too political, and tends to get herself into troubles with her rants. She has a tendency to act before thinking, or leap before she looks, and she has a tiny freckle on her lip, which people always mistake for an ink stain. Chelsea likes being on top but prefers the missionary position, unless she's in a mood and then will be as pliable as a Ukrainian gymnast on muscle relaxers.
She also swears too fucking much, drinks far too much, likes MAD TV to an unhealthy degree, and enjoys speaking in the third person. And wants to be on ONTD some day.